


Running up that Hill

by Bishmonster



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Also... Serenity, Binge Drinking, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Darcy Lewis is Tony Stark's Daughter, Darcy bakes, F/M, Firefly References, Handwavy medical procedures, Karaoke, Kidnapped Darcy, Panic Attacks, Possessive!Natasha, Protective Thor, Protective Tony Stark, Slow Burn, Smut, Stalker Natasha, Thor Is Not Stupid, Thor Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Truth serum is a real thing, Violence, jane has tunnel vision
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 02:54:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10958175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bishmonster/pseuds/Bishmonster
Summary: Darcy is an idiot, Jane is blind, Thor keeps his opinions to himself. Tony wants to adopt, and Steve plays hard to get.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if I made any mistakes. I'm writing all this on my phone and the screen is so very tiny!!! Please comment your concerns or anything you'd like to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://shieldshockfanfic.tumblr.com/post/161060843274/shieldshock-image-set-from-shieldshockfanfic
> 
>  
> 
> From the awesomesauce GlynnisIsta8:
> 
> Check  
> It  
> Out!

 

Darcy Lewis had always assumed her death would be the result of a Thor/Loki/Alien mercenary dispute. Or an explosion. Or an aneurysm. Or a flying toilet seat, because that was kind of her luck and she was ok with those options. Those kinds of death made sense to her, realistically fitting into her vision of intern/sidekick role playing.

Darcy was very much aware the intern sometimes bites it in the end. Hopefully she would bite it spectacularly.

Not in some dingy alley getting the shit kicked out of her by four young thugs. Hellfire, they weren't even goons! Or henchmen! Or doombots! Ok so doombots were a joke and Darcy could easily evade and/or disable said doombot.

If she survived, which she was kind of doubting because one of them got her in the chest and she could barely breathe much less get away from the achingly accurate steel toes, she was going to defy Jane's request that she not carry around her taser. Who gave a fuck if they were illegal! Pepper spray didn't do shit against all four of them. One of them was still gagging near her, having gotten him in the mouth and eyes. But the rest of them were just pissed off and taking their revenge out in her torso, though one of them got lucky and managed to kick the back of her head. Only by the grace of her pretty purple beanie did she not have a concussion yet.

After what felt like forever but was probably only a few minutes, the thugs ran off. Now Darcy considered herself a chiller version of plucky. She knew how to go with the flow, roll with the punches, plant portal thingies for space jumps. But this, being beaten for a few measles dollars and her imitation iPod since she hadn't gotten her original back from ZombiCoulson, had her at a loss. Her body was refusing to get up, get gone, go to the hospital because surely there was a broken bone in there somewhere. But she couldn't. Her muscles just wouldn't and it was damned depressing to know she had an actual fact limit.

Her Nana had been wrong.

The alley sank. Bad. Rotted meat, urine, miscellaneous mustard smells that would've made her gag if she hadn't already thrown up on herself from the pain. The chilly autumn night did noting to help either. The air was crisp enough to make her nose run, but her tears were hot and disconcerting. She couldn't remember the last time she had cried. Her Nana's funeral maybe? Or at the end of Up. Those times were too close to each other in the time line for her to truly remember which came first.

Laying in the alley was turning out to be damn depressing and kinda pissing her off.

She was not this girl. She was not weak. Or feeble. Or a quitter. She hadn't quit when "never say die" Jane had stopped even looking at the equipment much less caring about random readings and like, washing her hair.

Darcy wasn't going to quit now.

"Come on Lewis, on your feet" her through felt like sandpaper and barely had any sound. She tried to clear her throat. She puked again. Fuck that hurt. "Get up" she mentally yelled this time and it had some effect because she found herself on her hands and knees. Her palms were scraped and her leggings were torn.

Didn't matter. She didn't want to spend another moment in this godforsaken alley. No way in hell was this were they were gong to find her dead body. First she was going to get home and clean and then she could die in her very own mattress, or maybe the couch. She liked sleeping on the couch better. It was cozier.

"Up, up, up, up, up, up," she was chanting to herself until finally and unsteadily she was on her feet. Teetering but upright. Hey, progress, how about them apples.

The first step was hard mostly because she fell into the brick of the alley wall: it was coated in something slimy and gross. She didn't have anything left to puke up so she dry gaged for a few moments. The second step was easier and before she knew it she was slowly making her way to her apartment. 8 blocks away from her train and five stories up.

She could do this. No problem. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy deals

>  

Darcy was pretty sure both of her pinkies were broken. She also wasn't entirely sure the purpose of the pinky and she felt, if hers fell off in the middle of the night she would issue no complaints. It fucking hurt. And she had to modify two splints, pinky impaired. The result was a mess, however, when she tested how secure having her broken- esqe pinkies stationary felt, there was an instant kind of relief.

Cleaning gravel out of her scraps, not a new experience. The passing out in the middle was time illusionary but she didn't mind that so much. She needed the rest. She was so very tired. Her limbs felt heavy and burdensome. She couldn't get her fingers to work right, and at some point Darcy realized her vision wasn't off because of the pain but because her glasses were broken. Damn. Where was the duct tape?

The shower was as blissful as it was horrifying. Too hot, too cold, and what the hell is that even? Is that spaghetti? In her hair? Fucking gross. She got clean as quickly as she could. Hard to do with plastic bags wrapped around bandaged hands but Darcy was tenacious to get rid of that funky alley smell.

The bruises were concerning. Purple and molted, flesh swollen and tender from the small of her back to the undersides of her breasts. She'd never had a broken rib before so she wasn't sure what to palpate. Surely they weren't broken? That only happened in medical dramas. Fuck it. She had an ace bandage from Jane's last vague kidnapping attempt, where the goons hadn't done enough research and grabbed Darcy instead. Her ankle had been sprained from an embarrassing and unmentionable rescue attempt by Clint Francis fucking Barton.

Darcy wrapped her torso as best she could and hoped that would be enough then she lay on the cold bathroom floor enjoying the chill against her pain flushed cheeks.

She was definitely going to call in, in the morning. After she rested.

******

Waking up was hard to do. Eyelids struggled to lift, neck refused to move, leg cramps made themselves know. Darcy was super glad she lived alone. No one was around to hear her whimper. Downside? No one was there to help her off the floor. Damn.

Not having slept long curled up on the bathroom floor, Darcy immediately made her way to her bed and wished furtively for some pain medication. Some of the good stuff, or maybe just some Tylenol. Truthfully anything would've been heaven right at that moment.

Clothing wasn't going to happen. Calling Jane did happen. Super brainy Janey wasn't answering which meant she had finally passed out or she was ignoring the call. Why would she answer when she had Darcy to do it for her? Not that Darcy minded answering Jane's phone. It was just wildly inconvenient trying to get ahold of the petite scientist. Darcy left a message.

"Janey, Janey, Janey! I'm taking a sick day! And tomorrow's Friday! So I won't be coming back until Monday! Remember to eat! Wash your hair! I'll see You on the flip side!"

Darcy spent the next three days trying not to move. At all.

By Monday she felt better. Make up covered most of her visible bruises. She valiantly ignored the surprise discoloration on her chesticles. It only hurt a little bit to breathe and her glasses actually looked kind of geek chic with pink duct tape. Plus she felt a million times better with Ole Sparky poking out the side of her messenger bag. The only real problem was the bulky homemade splints on her pinkies. Whatevs, she had more important things to think about. Like what exactly the state of the labs were going to be in when she got back to work.

Ok, so Brainy Janey was not allowed in the labs unsupervised ever again. Never ever again. It took Darcy nearly an hour to shuffle a protesting Jane out of the labs and into a shower, then to bed. Vile threats were issued, sleepy tears were wept, cookie promises were made. A deal was struck, Jane was banned from the labs until the next morning. Darcy may or may not have called Thor to make sure Jane kept her promise. She then spent the next several hours cleaning three days worth of debris. Take out boxes were thrown away, illegible napkin notes were catalogued and stored and the five used and forgotten coffee cups were washed. Delicately and with a newfound appreciation for the pinky.

It was nearing 3 in the afternoon when she was done. Despite the full body ache she was rocking, Darcy headed up to the communal floor to follow through on her triple chocolate brookie cookies.

"What the hell happened to you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow burn is a thing I never really thought I'd do but secretly love.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baking with a side of Tony.

 

"What the hell happened to you?"

"I'm making brookies for Jane, if you're nice I'll let you have one." Her face hurt to grin but he was too damned adorable. Tony Stark, man-child, stared at her open mouthed and rude. He looked, and when he got closer, smelled like he'd taken up residence in a den of iniquity. That secret part of her heart reserve for 'father figure' felt squishy.

"Don't deflect! I deflect! That's my thing! What happened to your face. What's on your fingers? Is that some new weirdo hipster fashion? I thought I told you no more of that! There are rules here, you know. I will not be thwarted!"

"Tony, you smell, when was the last time you showered?"

"Again with the deflecting! I will not stand for it!" He was looming over her. Not in a threatening manner but enough for her heart rate to pick up.

Fuck. What the hell was that? Fear? From Tony? He was harmless. Well, mostly. He was one of her snarky peeps. She had nothing to fear from him. Darcy mentally shook herself and sidestepped away.

"Want a smoothie? You probably need hydration. And food. Best of both worlds, the smoothie."

One of the things Darcy liked about Tony was his respect for personal space. He, so often, had very little of it himself. He was pushy but he wasn't overbearing like his reputation made him out to be. Unfortunately, at this particular moment, he was drunk and not picking up social cues. Plus, as he had confessed one sleepless night on the roof top right after Jane moved into the tower, he liked Darcy enough to let her into his bubble. Whatever that meant.

Darcy knew exactly what it meant. Personal space issues didn't apply to her. Even when she was the one needing the space. It was surreal the way he crowded her and with two grease stained yet steady fingers under her chin he brought her face into the light.

"Je-Zeus" he breathed out.

"It's not that bad." She denied.

"It's pretty bad, kid" Tony voice was quiet. "I'm going to be needing the name."

Even though it hurt like a bitch, Darcy snorted, then ducked away. "I don't have that kind of information." She told him.

"If you're protecting..." he started.

"Yeah, no. That's not it at all. I was dumb. I wasn't paying attention and I got mugged. It's not a big deal. I didn't even see their faces. It's ok. I'm ok."

"You're hurt Darcy." He sounded like the one with the bruised ribs. That surreal-ness was making it hard for her to measure out the ingredients. There was also a ringing in her ears and blurriness to her eyes. Maybe her beanie had not protected her from a concussion. Maybe the concussion was latent and picking this exact moment to show up. Or. Maybe the duct tape had failed and her glasses were broken again. It had been a busy day. Maybe she hadn't noticed.

"How many were there? Did they..." he trailed off looking horrified.

"Fuck. No! Listen. I'm ok. Repeat it. Darcy is ok."

"Darcy is ok" he mumbled obediently.

"Good, now wash your hands. I need yours. My pinkies are broken and this is hard to do." She grinned at him like it was some big joke no one else got and he humored her with a teeth blinding grin of his own.

"Fine but you're going to medical after."

"I can't afford medical, Tony" which hurt her pride more than any beating ever could. To admit that out loud.

"Darcy, my moon burnt child, you are an idiot."

"Dude, harsh, I'm injured here."

****

"I need a favor."

"Tony, at this rate, I'll own the Tower by New Years."

"Enough of that Spylicious. This isn't work related. It's personal."

"I'm not going to Japan to see Pepper."

"I don't want you to. Ok lie. But that's not the favor. You know Darcy? Of course you know Darcy. Everybody knows Darcy. That girl..."

"Is she a threat?"

"What? No! How could you...? Never mind that. I need you to trail her. Something happened. Someone... listen just look out for her ok. She's in medical right now. Just. Follow her home, make sure she gets there alright."

"Is there a threat against her? I need to know these things Tony. It's kind of my job."

"Don't take that dry tone with me. I know exactly what your job entails. No, not a threat. She's hurt. Says she got mugged. This is off the books. I just... I worry ok? Don't make a big deal out of it."

"Don't play like there isn't a small hidden plaque in the workshop titled 'Tony Stark has a heart'. Pepper showed it to me years ago."

"Yeah, well, I sort of destroyed the original."

The delicate phone muffled snort made Tony's stomach flip. Making the Black Widow laugh had to be some kind of bucket list accomplishment if ever there was one.

"Ok Tony, I'll follow her home. Although why she doesn't live in the Tower I'll never know."

She hung up before Tony could thank her.

Yes, why indeed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drunk!Tony is my favorite


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy goes home, Natasha does her thing

 

The funny thing about fear was how exactly unreasonable it was. Darcy was fine getting to the subway. Fine on the train. Fine right up until she was nearly hyperventilating at the entrance to the alley where she had honestly thought she was going to die. It had to be an instinct kind of thing. Her brain associating the alley with pain and death and her instincts were not having it. They were trying to tell her to flee since her first attempts at fight had failed spectacularly. Darcy might be an idiot, according to Tony, but she wasn't stupid. Analytically she knew this. It didn't stop her from wanting to throw up and scream at the same time. Helplessness was a foreign and unwelcome concept and that alley was the physical representation of everything she never wanted to be again.

Panic, also new and unwelcome, made her speed walk the rest of the way home, getting there just as the sun dipped below the building's horizon. Sweat dripped down her forehead even though it was nice and chilly outside. Her jacket felt too warm and constricting. Her scarf was suffocating and hot tears dropped unbidden down her cheeks when she finally got inside her apartment, panting from exertion and fear. She stumbled, dropped her bag and fell to her scrapped knees, shaking until she finally stopped just as sudden as her panic was gradual.

This was unacceptable. This was dumb. What the fuck? She wasn't this person! Was she? Panicky and sick with it? She never had been before. Not with the giant metal fire blaster, not with the nasty elves, not with the generic kidnapping goons. Why was she now?

Because it's real.

Dealing with the fantastical everyday, even after years of suspending her disbelief, Darcy had never really felt that it was real. This was fantasy stuff. Crack piping dreams and sometimes the stuff of acid induced nightmares. Fun as it was. Maybe it was because she, herself, wasn't a real part of it. She wasn't a genius, wasn't enhanced, didn't have the skills required to be needed during the big moments. There was no saving the world for this girl. And she was perfectly ok with that. She was excited to be what she was, the platonic helpmate for Jane, the tentative friend of Tony, the honorary shield sister of Thor. These roles made her happy and despite her closeness to the edge of the destructive tendency of their enemies, Darcy had felt safe.

She no longer felt safe. Her little New York apartment no longer held the excitement of living in the city. The exorbitant amount of money she spent each month no longer felt justifiable. She had wanted her own place even when Jane had offhandedly offered her the spare room.

Sharing an apartment with Jane and Thor? Nope. That was like being a waitress and living above the restaurant, smelling greasy fries at night. Looking after Jane in New Mexico had been fun. There had been plenty of space to get lost in when they had needed a break from each other.

Looking after Jane and Thor? Darcy wasn't sure she would've been able to do it 24/7. Where would her escape be? Where would she bury the bodies when she eventually snapped? There weren't efficient enough ear plugs to save her from the love fest Thor was prone to, and Jane, Jane was a screamer.

Her apartment hadn't been close to the Tower and it was actually kind of shitty in the way that she was able to afford it. But she had loved it. Hell, she still loved it. The thrift store furniture, the blue tub and pink toilet, the stove with only one working burner, the string of fairy lights in her bedroom, all hers and comforting in the way living at her Nana's had been before she died and Darcy had gone into the system.

Now it was tainted. At least, the walk home was tainted. And how exactly was she suppose to fix that?

*****

Following Darcy home had been a breeze. A little boring even. The girl was easy to trail, the bright teal scarf had sparkles in it for the love of gravy. She was a living cupcake.

Fun sized with sprinkles.

Natasha could see the exact moment things changed. Darcy made an unnecessarily wide berth around an alley beside a run down bistro. She also picked up the pace, nearly running before she darted inside her five story walk up. There wasn't even a doorman. Natasha shook her head, mentally.

She waited a beat then ducked into the alley to investigate. Filthy, no real discernible signs of a struggle. It smelled, badly, like old food and vomit. Natasha's delicate nose wrinkled. She turned to leave, which was when she saw it. A silver beaded bracelet she'd seen Darcy absentmindedly play with on numerous occasions. It was broken and covered in filth. Natasha picked it up and gingerly wrapped it in one of Clint's handkerchiefs she had confiscated for the fun of it. He always complained so loudly. She liked to record it and play it back to Stark.

Stark was being absolutely fucking adorable. She had known he had a soft spot for the girl. It wasn't a secret but he was acting very low key about the whole thing. She wondered if Pepper knew. She wondered if Pepper cared. Their breakup had been amicable by both parties. He was still hurting though. Enough to have locked himself away most of the time. Enough for him to be hitting the bottle a little harder than before. Darcy seemed to help. Feeding him casually. Tricking him into being hygienic. It was pretty amusing to watch the way they played off each other. It made her nostalgic for the early of days with Clint. When they'd been feeling each other out. Both falling back on sarcasm and cynicism but ultimately caring. Their bond was stronger than ever now. A tried and true thing.

Stark needed that. Sure, he had Colonel Rhodes. But the man was busy. Sometimes too busy to pull his friend out of the dark funk of a Pepperless life. Stark needed someone to be there for him. He obviously cared about the girl, probably more than even Nastasha had realized if he was calling in favors. So, yes, she would look after Darcy like she'd been asked. Even if it was a little boring. Even if she had better things to do. Like prank Clinton.

Although it would make her job a little easier if the girl lived in the Tower...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this instead of sleeping. Work should be a blast tomorrow. Probably the last update for a couple of days. Who knows!?!? I live dangerously spontaneous. Just jokes. Just jokes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor speaks up, his timing is inappropriate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to say what I think I should say here. I'm struggling with the ever present battle: offending anyone vs. holding true to my own opinions. Pretty sure I'm totes over thinking this. Seester said I should have written a chapter about masturbating!steve. This is not that chapter.

 

"For three days I have waited, somewhat patiently, for you to come to me, to request the use of Mjolnir in atonement for the wrongs befallen you. Three days, and yet you have not come and now I'm curious as to why."

"Was that a question big guy? Sounded like a statement to me." Huh. Look at that, sass at 3 in the morning. She was pretty impressed with herself for the snark and also not yelling at the earnest home invader. The light from her living room danced over his Asgardian cheekbones, illuminating his serious face. She was surprised he was only in a tee shirt and jeans instead of battle garb. Jane had been working with him on blending in. He did not like being capeless, saying it kept him warm while flying. They still hadn't watched The Incredibles yet.

"I might be new to the customs on Midgard, your verbal fencing will not get you out of this. Why have you not come to me Lady Darcy?"

Struggling to sit up on her lumpy mattress without looking like she was struggling was hard. Like really hard so she huffed and blew her overgrown bangs out her eyes and shoved her pride down where it belonged with shame and guilt because she didn't want to feel any of those things. Once situated with hands folded in her lap, she gazed at Thor imperiously, "to what are you referring, Mighty Thor."

He did not look amused by her, he looked exasperated and a smidgen disappointed. Having heard tales of Captain America's disappointed face, she decided she never wanted to meet him if it was even a fraction of it was as effective as Thor's.

"Lady Darcy, you are hurt." He gave her a stern look when she made move to interrupt. "I have not said anything because I've been told the ladies of this era are not 'damsels in distress' and don't appreciate when "men fight their battles'."

"These things are true Thor. Did Jane tell you this?"

He loved looked surprised. "No. 'Twas Tony."

It was her turn to look surprised. "When did he tell you this?"

"Monday eve. I inquired as to why he looked bewildered and he said that something bad had happened and then he showed me the 'footage' of you struggling in the labs. When I demanded to know what had happened and who your attackers were, he replied that you did not tell him and refused to talk about it. I had thought you would come to me and he 'schooled me' on the delicate intricacies of the 'modern female psyche' and that you would come to me when you are ready. I have been patient. You will come to me now so that I may avenge thee."

Sweet, sweet Tony teaching Thor modern vernacular and feminism. Oh how she wished to be a fly on that wall. The switch between both styles of language was a bit hard to decipher during the middle of the devil's hour but Darcy was discovering many things were difficult during this time of night when all she wanted to do was go back to blissful slumber.

Plus, how did you explain, to a future king, the safe haven of denial and it's cousin, avoidance.

"Thor, hunk of wunderkind, as much as I appreciated the offer, Tony is right. I know, I know, how often do you get to say that. But he is kinda a genius and he has come pretty far thinking before he speaks. So I'm going to repeat what he said. I do not need you to fight my battles for me."

He looked thoughtful and quiet, a rarity. Thor was so full of life he always seemed to be 'on', so seeing him introspective was an odd experience.

"Lady Darcy, are we not friends?" His booming voice as small as she had ever heard it.

"Of course Thor, you are the best of friends. I value your's and Jane's friendship."

"And yet you do not come to me. Or to Jane. She has said she didn't even notice when I spoke of it to her this eve!"

That hurt. The knowledge her bestie hadn't even looked at her close enough to notice. But Jane, beautiful Jane sometimes had tunnel vision. Darcy understood. There were so many things going on in her big brain that she took for granted the things in real life. Darcy didn't hold it against her even though it burned a little in her gut to think about it. There were more important things. And sometimes, Darcy wasn't one of them.

Darcy had no response to satisfy Thor. She got a little angry with his ridiculous face.

"Would you speak to Lady Sif the way you are speaking to me?"

He looked confused.

"Would you demand to know her attackers if she showed up injured?"

"I do not know. She would trounce them soundly. The issue would not come up."

"Then why do you ask me?" She was afraid she knew the answer.

He looked confused again. Like he was pretty sure he was going to upset her with his answer and he wasn't sure he wanted to be the cause of her distress but he also didn't want to lie to her. She wished he would just say it and leave her in peace to bury her head back into her pillow. She wished he would say nothing about it, instead tell her the old stories until she dreamt of pillaging with abandon and having intricate braids. The best of bedtime stories.

"As formidable as you are, my Lady Darcy, you are not a warrior. I would not wish to see blood on your hands, your own or someone else's. It is my duty to take care of these matters for you."

"Very diplomatically put." He would have done much better than she pursing a poly-sci degree.

He looked pleased with her response. Then frowned when she followed up with:

"I appreciate the offer, but there is no one to battle here. I do not know who jumped me and probably will never know. So please, my darling and daring friend. Go home, get some rest and don't worry about me."

*****

To say he wasn't happy was an understatement.

He did not like this at all and frustration, while not a novel concept, was an unwelcome presence. Especially with no one to punch.

Lady Darcy was as stubborn as she was buxom. He admired her strong personality as much as he railed against it. Her pride was going to get her hurt even worse. He had spoken with his Jane about this when she originally refused to move into the Tower. He regretted saying nothing.

He regretted not protecting his friend.

A true friend was rare. The warriors three  
And Lady Sif had forged their friendships through centuries of battle and companionship. They had not always been as close or as accepting as they were now.

Lady Darcy had accepted him from day one, enjoying his personality without critic, without judgement. A rare gift. As rare as his love for Jane. He would not allow her to be hurt. He would no longer allow her to be without protection. The problem was this absurd notion of hers that she was not in 'distress'. Clearly, the markings on her face proved otherwise. She was damned lucky she hadn't been killed or worse. Tony assured him she had protested when ask, but that did little to ease his fears of her being forced to... no, he could not think of it.

If anyone had touched her in such a manner he would most enthusiastically, cut off their hands and their manhood and feed the offending appendages to a bilgesnipe. Keeping the villains alive to watch.

Standing by and being quiet was no longer an option. And while, not all of her problems would be solve with this course of action, he would find a way to change Darcy's mind and move her into the Tower.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many Avengers does it take to get Darcy to move into the Tower?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the 'f' word is used excessively. And then there were shots.

 

Finally! It was fucking Friday! Darcy was pretty excited. The whole week had been one big ball of awkward and painful and she was ready for it to be fucking over and there had better be a fucking margarita in her future or she was going to fucking protest, loudly with intent!

Jane had been weird for two whole days looking at her with watery eyes and doing everything Darcy asked with little to no protest and it was freaking her out! Tony had shown up in Jane's lab more in the last week than the entirety of their four month inhabitation. The Black Widow spent a tense and awkward thirty minutes staring at her for not one but two lunches, the second one bringing Clint Francis with her so instead of babbling nervously to the red headed spy, she babbled confusedly to her prank buddy and kind of friend. Ok, so he'd never held her hair back like Jane or Tony or Thor but they had never gotten drunk together either and that was fucking changing. Tonight.

And boy howdy was she fucking ready for it. She was ready to wear something with glitter and maybe some ridiculously tight pants, and ok, she was going to continue to wear her sturdy boots with all the buckles but that was sort of fashionable and totally her style and if anyone had any issues about it, they could take it up with someone else who gave a fuck because she no longer did. All out of fucks to give folks. Try again next week.

Clint wanted to do karaoke. Which was awesome, and he wanted to get wasted, also awesome and since he worked with a bunch of peeps who could not and in Tony's case, should not drink excessively, he decided she was his new drinking buddy and they were going to hit the town with the Black Widow, call me Natasha please, as the designated cab hailer. Thor and Jane decided to pass, wanting a quiet night in, and Tony said he was busy. Which meant he was creating something or destroying something or just wanted to be left alone because Pepper had called this morning and whatever she had said had left him with a strange look on his face and he absolutely refused to talk about it with anyone.

Darcy could respect that. She was getting pretty bomb about avoiding the things that bothered her too.

When the timer on her phone when off signaling 5 p.m., Darcy shove everything she thought she might need into her purse and drug Jane out of the lab.

"Jarvis! Barring any actual emergencies according to previously stated protocols both Jane Foster and I are to be banned from the labs until 8 a.m. Monday morning. No loopholes or arguments. My word is law. Amen"

"Yes Ms. Lewis and might I add... cut a rug."

" I like it Jay." She couldn't help but look up even though there was nothing there to look up to. "Now Jane. It's time. Time to fly away and be free from the chains of labor! Be free Jane and go make beautiful love to the God of Thunder but please, this time, no storms. I want the unfrizziest of hair tonight, to go with that silver haltertop your mother thinks makes me look like a tramp."

"It's too cold for that outfit. You'll get the flu. Wear the red long sleeve rhinestoney one with the low v neck. It makes your boobs look fast instead of just slutty."

"Classy, I like it. Make sure you hydrate! Have good sex!"

They parted ways.

Several hours later, disappointed because she had planned to wear the halter despite the weather, but couldn't because of her yellow and disgusting stupid bruises, Darcy met Clint and Natasha at a dive bar not far from her apartment. It was the bees knees and lifted her spirits before the first drop of liqueur hit her lips.

It was fun. She had fun. There was singing. There was dancing. There were loud debates about the fastest most efficient ways to get drunk and consequently, sober. She made the Black Widow laugh, which was just as scary as it was exhilarating until Darcy realized after a rousing shots contest, that like her male counterparts, the Black Widow was A Human Being and though she commanded respect, she deserved consideration. It was smart to be wary. It was foolish to fear her for the sake of am illicit reputation.

Natasha was as warm and caring as she was capable and deadly. Darcy's lady boner come to attention and before the end of the night she was ignoring her ignorant instincts and cuddling the shit out of the spysassion. Clint played the jealous card while Natasha just smirked. They made plans to go shopping. Real shopping and not just to the hardware store for machine parts and duct tape.

Somehow she lost track of how much she had to drink. A big no no on her part. How could she brag if she couldn't keep track? Plus how would she know if it was time for tacos or time to pass out in the bathtub. Things got real hazy and she was feeling no pain. Then the world kind of tilted and things went dark. Someone was petting her hair, someone else was laughing quietly and she felt safe. Safer than she had in a long time.

Best fucking night ever!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's nearly one in the morning and I'm having anxiety about commas. How many are too many? Is there a comma police? Grammar Nazis scare me. Also, don't like the term Grammer Nazi. Also, I want pancakes. I haven't had pancakes in ages.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, if you haven't watched Serenity, you will not understand. So go watch it. But also watch Firefly. To be thorough.

 

"Why is there so much yelling?" Steve asked a stoic Thor, carrying his duffle bag over one broad shoulder. The god of Thunder was posted like a sentry close to the elevator. He had battle garb on and his arms crossed, feet planted. "What did Tony do?"

That got a quick grin out of the taller man.

"''Tis good to see you shield brother. Did your travels go well?" Thor kept his eye on the chaos of the communal floor. Steve subconsciously mirrored his pose, dropping the duffle bag at his feet.

"Oh yeah. It was real nice. The country is very beautiful. Real quiet too." As opposed to the Tower was left unsaid. Thor grunted in agreement, scowling at a  short brunette when she started waving her arms around and furiously protesting.

"Who is she?" Steve asked, using his Captain voice. She looked like trouble and that was the last thing this team needed.

"Captain, that is a very near and dear friend to my Jane and I, Lady Darcy Lewis." Steve could hear the affection and pride in his voice.

"She seems upset." Upset was an understatement. She was full on raging. The subject of her ire... Tony Stark. Whom, for once was not arguing back. Nat and Clint were positioned behind Tony in solidarity. Another brunette, just as short but more petite sat behind the angry woman with wide bewildered eyes. Puzzled, Steve asked Thor:

"Is she Tony's girl?"

Steve would venture to guess the look on Thor's face veered closer to horrified than humorous. That's a 'no' then.

"Lady Darcy shares a special friendship with our benefactor but amorous it is not." Special friendship or not, this Darcy girl was giving Tony hell. And he was still taking it.

"What happened?" Thor was quiet for a moment, sighing with his arms still crossed. He looked troubled and his posture slumped minutely.

"Tony moved Lady Darcy into the Tower last night, without her knowledge. She is taking exception. She fears the loss of her independence." Guilt shadowed the future king's voice. So he had a part of it.

Steve might not have the best track record with female relationships but even he knew not to take an action like that without at least discussing it first. He was surprised just yelling was gong down and no objects were being thrown. He admired her restraint.

"What was Tony's reason?"

"''Tis not safe." Thor grumpily replied.

"Is that the reason he gave her?" Steve asked incredulously.

Thor remained noncommittal.

"That's the reason you gave her." Steve's murmur was met with a half nod of acknowledgement. "You're guarding the door so she doesn't run off," again a terse nod.

"I suggest flowers. My mother always accepted flowers as apologies." Having imparted his limited knowledge, Steve wandered to his apartment to settle in. Hopefully the yelling would die down soon and he could grab a snack from the kitchen. No way in hell was he going to draw attention to himself from an angry woman, no matter how pretty she was in a full on rage.

******

Damn him! Damn him! Damn him!

Hot, unwanted tears burned Darcy's eyes. She was thankful they hadn't shown until after she was done yelling at that infuriating man. Still, she was not enthused by their presence now. She was an adult gorramit, not a crybaby!

Tony was just so fucking frustrating! Especially when he just stood there with that blank face, like when Pepper left. And didn't say anything back! How could she fight with him if he didn't fight back? Those were not the rules!

How could he think she would be ok with him moving her entire apartment into the Tower, string of lights and shitty furniture and all, without discussing it with her first? Unacceptable. Absolutely unacceptable. And so fucking sweet she was getting a damn cavity.

Ugh. This was frustrating.

Alone in her new apartment that did not smell like old Thai food or cigarettes or cat urine, she could admit to herself that she completely understood why Tony did what he did.

Tony was a fixer. He saw a problem and he tried to fix it. Whether he should or not. Whether he was right or not. And whether he discussed it with anyone else or not. Apparently he had discussed it with someone, several someones and every damn one of them thought it would be a good idea to go behind her back.

The new apartment was not the problem. The subterfuge was.

Clint's idea was to get her drunk. Natasha's was to take her back to the Tower to sleep it off, Thor stubbornly wouldn't let her leave while Tony had her stuff packed and moved.

Jane had been just as unaware but took Thor's side.

She felt tricked and betrayed. And helpless. Weak. Just as weak as she felt two Thursdays ago.

And she was mad. Not just at Tony, mad at herself.

Because of the overwhelming sense of relief.

This felt like giving in. This felt like laying down and going to sleep in the middle of the road because all the will to fight, to continue, to go on was Miranda-ed right out of her.

Darcy did not want to be ok with having someone else control her life. She had enough of that shit growing up.

Yelling at Tony had felt wrong.

Sitting in her new place, crying, also felt wrong.

There had better be enough supplies for baking in the kitchen or she might leave and never come back.

She wondered if Tony would want to try her new recipe for Blueberry cheesecake cookies. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a struggle to write. I've had the Paul Wall song from 'Grandma's Boy' stuck in my head since noon. 
> 
> "Sittin' sideways, boys in a daze"
> 
> But that's the only line I know.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making amends, mercurial moods. Steve and Darcy meet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure what I did here. Fix it?

Something smelled amazing. Fresh and clean but also sweet. Warm and fruity. Steve followed his nose to the kitchen. He paused before entering, not wanting to interrupt. The girl, Darcy, was staring Tony down. Steve didn't want to get involved in their argument, but he was also curious.

She was handing the billionaire a lone cookie, the size of Steve's fist, laid out on a plain white plate. Tony, took it without protesting how much he didn't like to be handed things. A special friendship, Thor had said, and now Steve wondered to what extent that friendship went. Maybe Thor was wrong about the nature of their relationship. Maybe she was Tony's girl and he picked the exact opposite of Pepper.

Tony took a bite out of the cookie. He was a braver man than Steve, to accept food after a fight. Woman could be vindictive. But, if the smile on the older man's face was any indication, it was worth whatever she might've put in it. It certainty smelled amazing.

"Are you still mad at me Darcy-loo-who?"

"Yes." She paused looking uncertain. "I don't need you to fix things for me. But also, You're an incredibly generous man even if you are an idiot."

"I'll have you know, I'm a genius."

"Humble too." She sassed, which was when Steve gave his presence away by chuckling.

"Steve! You're back!" Tony exclaimed, delighted. "Darcy! Steve is back!" Tony wasn't a hugger. Tony wasn't even a handshaker. But Tony did offer Steve part of his cookie.

And yes, it was totally worth it.

Darcy looked amused. She really was very pretty. Big blue eyes behind her glasses, strong cheekbones, generous mouth. She had the most fascinating little gap between her teeth when she smiled. Steve found himself unable to say anything of value. He nodded in her general direction. She nodded in response then went back to plating three dozen large cookies. She took a small plate for herself and left the rest on the bar. She kissed Tony's cheek before leaving.

Dang. Tony had good taste in women.

*****

Darcy had an appointment at 1 p.m. To take her finger splints off. She was pretty sure it was too soon but she also didn't feel any pain at all for her pinkies. Whatever the doctors had done last week really helped her heal faster. The miracles of modern science.

Darcy spent the rest of her afternoon avoiding Jane and subsequently Thor. She wasn't ready to make amends yet. She wasn't sure she needed to make amends. The only reason she did with Tony was because he came to her, still stoic, and offered to set her up in another apartment in another building, if she felt like she couldn't live in the Tower with them. If she thought she couldn't live there with him. As frustrated and mad as she was, she just couldn't let him think that a minute longer and instead of throwing the cookie at his head like she had originally planned she gave it to him nicely; as a peace offering.

Steve Rogers in the flesh was an interesting development in the, he is super fucking sexy way. Also, pretty. Also, those muscles tho. Also, he smelled nice, like apples. Also, the look on his face when he ate her cookie. Also, that's sounded way dirtier, even in her head, than it probably should have.

-Shake it off- Darcy scolded herself. Totes not the time for that!

Darcy locked herself in her new apartment and took stock. Everything seemed to be there. It was even set up how she had it before. Except, her things had been dusted. Bonus!

The kitchen was stocked in a minimalist kind of way. Milk, eggs, bread and any non perishable items she had at the other place. She would have to go shopping.

Still overwhelmed and also hungover, Darcy decided to take a shower.

She was gathering her favorite pajama pants and tankini, reaching for her comfy boy short panties when she realized someone had to have packed her undies in order to move them. The embarrassment! The outrage! Ok, so she wasn't that upset about it. Still, someone could've told her, warned her, let her pack her own damn underwear.

The shower was some kind of magical. The water stayed hot and there were no nefarious stains in the grout. The shower stall was spacious, just like its counterpart, the jet infused tub. She would be taken advantage at a later date.

Halfway through washing her hair, the vent in the ceiling made an unusual noise. Startled, she looked up, then cursed when she got soap in her eye.

"Don't be mad at Nat."

"Clint, you bastard, you scared the hell out of me!" She yelled over the sound of the water, adding, "And get out of the ceiling!"

"I can't see nothing. I'm not looking." He sounded like a petulant man child.

"I don't give a fuck. I'm in the shower. I need privacy. Go away." Darcy crossed her arms over her chest and curled into the wall.

" I will. I will. Just. Don't be mad at Nat."

"Why shouldn't I?" She wasn't trying to sound like a brat, but her lower lip was poking out.

"She was only trying to help." Clint voice was pleading.

"I understand that. I just don't like being tricked." One hundred percent truth. She didn't even like surprise parties because at some point someone had to lie to her. And if she believe them, how many other times had she been fooled.

"She didn't mean anything by it. Nothing bad anyway. She likes you, Darcy. " he was earnest now. "I like you."

"She doesn't even know me. We've had lunch together a couple times and then she watched me get shit faced." She wasn't going to touch the second part of that statement.

"Tony's had her follow you home each night since Monday. Plus she's read your file."

"Tony is a damn busybody." Darcy shouldn't have felt surprised. She did feel stupid for not realizing he wasn't going to ignore her situation.

"I'm... trying" Darcy admitted before ducking her head under the water to rinse her hair. The vent made that weird noise again and she took it to mean he had left.

She had no idea how she felt about Clint's plea on behalf of Natasha. She did feel it was time for a nap. She shuddered in bliss when she crashed into bed. Tony had replaced her lumpy mattress. That adorable, exasperating, sweet man.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this to the soundtrack of King Author. Pretty sure that gritty Celtic sound is the cats meow.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confrontation with Jane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve just isn't quite ready to come out and play.

 

One look at Jane's chapped, pinched lips Monday morning had Darcy ordering emergency donuts and two large Coffees, willing to pay the delivery fee in order to get to the bottom of the cold look on her best friend's face. It took ten minutes and a coffee refusal to realize:

"You're mad at me?" Darcy more asked than exclaimed but the volume of her voice could not be helped.

"No" come a clipped reply. Oh yeah, deny all she wants, Jane was mad at her. Well, fine. She could stay mad.

"Lies" Darcy accused then huffily took her donuts and her two coffees to her office. She spent most of the morning muttering to herself and thinking dark thoughts. By the time lunch rolled around, she felt sugar sick and puzzled because Natasha hadn't shown up.

"Of course she won't show up, you acted like an ass about this whole dumb situation, and now you have to deal with the consequences." Darcy went off to find the spysassion after leaving a hearty sandwich and apple within Jane's reach.

Natasha wasn't in the kitchen, or in the den, or at her apartment. Under a time constraint and frustrated with the whole day, Darcy asked Jarvis. "Ms. Romanov is in Sir's lab, Ms. Lewis."

"Thanks Jay!"

"A pleasure, as always. Might I add: it's good to have you in the Tower." Was the A.I. trolling her? She felt like she was being trolled.

"Uh. Thanks again Jay."

Tony's lab was really more of a workshop. It was also one of her favorite places to visit and on one barely remembered occasion, to get rip roaring drunk.

Natasha and Tony were eyeballing each other. Tony was tinkering with something glowing. Darcy didn't want to know just as much as she wanted to touch it.

"Romanov. I only have time for Ramen noodles now, chop chop."

The assassin and the mechanic shared a look. Tony shrugged in response to one raised red eyebrow. "That shit has no nutritional value." Natasha's smokey voice admonished, "I will make you stir fry."

"Score. I love those weird mini corn thingies."

"I thought you might."

*******

By three, Darcy was throughly feed up with Jane's attitude. Being ignored because Science! was one thing. Being ignored on purpose... Darcy wasn't going to stand for it.

Making random comments hadn't worked. Singing ridiculous lyrics hadn't worked. Throwing sugary confections at the back of her head had only garnered a terse "I'm working."

So Darcy pulled out the big guns.

"Will you stop that." Even superman had kryptonite. Jane's was pencil tapping. Darcy was ruthless with it.

"You're not allowed to be mad at me, Jane. I'll stop when you talk."

It barely took a minute

"Fine! Just! Stop!" Jane turned in her wheeled chair where she was doing the big math. Darcy laid her palm over the offending pencil and tried not to grin. She was pretty sure Jane would not appreciate it. Jane's sense of humor was a tender thing when she was upset.

"I am allowed to be mad at you."

"No ma'am, not acceptable. I was the one wronged here." Stubbornly sticking to that kept Darcy from screaming.

"Why didn't you tell me you had been hurt. Why didn't you say anything? You acted like nothing had happened! Thor had to tell me days after! I thought we were friends, Darcy!" Jane was yelling by the end of her rant. And her chest was moving up and down, furiously.

"Why didn't you ask me why I called in, why didn't you even look at my face?" Darcy asked quietly, still feeling the sharpness of those hurts.

"You know I'm not the most observant of people when it comes to what's around me." Was Jane's excuse.

"Yeah. Well, you know I'm terrible about dealing with shit."

"I do actually know that." For the first time all day Jane cracked a smile. Small as it were.

"I'm pretty much not dealing at all well with this shit." Darcy admitted.

"That's pretty obvious. Even to me."

"She's got jokes yo!" Darcy cried out then fell into a fit of giggles, that turned to one lone sob.

"You can't be mad at me for this." Darcy's head hung down. She had an ink stain on her favorite purple tights.

"Oh, Darcy!" Jane rushed over to her friend perched on the spare desk. "I see that now. Ok. I won't be mad. But you have got to come to me next time. I'm here for you. I know you have trouble believing that, but it's true. I'm here for you. Thor is here for you. Hell, Tony would do just about anything for you."

Darcy lifted her head, "yeah, what's that about?"

"No idea. I wouldn't question it."

"What's with you and your lies today Janey, you question everything."

"Maybe I meant 'don't push him away'."

"I'm agreeing with this only because he's a man child with puppy eyes and a nice ass."

"And because you care about him."

"And because I care about him. Damn you for being so smart!"

"Also, Natasha cannot replace me." It was Jane's turn to hide her face.

"What? No? Of course not! But she does need a friend. And I do like her."

"Fine, but she has to come to Taco Tuesday tomorrow to discuss terms and conditions."

"I'm not the wifi, Jane"

"8 p.m." Jane was already moving back to the siren call of science! Also, the pretty insistent beeping from one of her machines.

*****

"Pep. Pep! Pepper! Did you get what I sent?" Tony asked enthusiastically.

"Yes, Tony, I did. Are you sure this is something you want?" Judgement colored her voice.

"How can you ask me that, Pep?!" He wasn't having any of it.

"Please don't call me that anymore." She asked firmly. Even through the phone he could see the thinning of her lips.

"I will respect your wishes if you make sure this happens." He could negotiate when he felt like it.

"She's a grown woman Tony."

"She needs this."

"Surely there is an easier way. Can't you just date her?" Having been stabbed, shot, beaten, and nearly drowned, Tony thought nothing could ever surprise him with pain. Turns out, Pepper, the love of his life, could make him feel worse than he'd ever felt before. That included when she broke up with him because he refused to give up Ironman. He refused to stop wanting to help people.

"Let me know when the paperwork goes through." Rudely, he hung up on his former girlfriend. Slowly, he stood up, walked out of his lab. Physical pain was nothing to the deep ache in his belly. The hurt of want, the hurt of rejection was snakes writhing.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"Hey"

He could hear her but he couldn't respond. Until she slapped him, hard, her soft hand sharp against his stubbled cheek.

  
"Do you want to talk about it or do you want to watch 'Beauty and the Beast' with me?" Darcy's blue eyes were concerned. He didn't know why he hadn't realized before how short she was.

"Live action?" His voice sounded foreign.

"Bitch, please. This fam is all about the classics."

"I'll get the blueberries. You make the popcorn."

"Get the chocolate covered ones."

"Heathen." He accused, snapping out of that cold painful cage of emotion. She called them family. Which was exactly what he wanted. Needed if he were being honest with himself.

But why start now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty sure next chapter is going to be NSFW.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taco Tuesday! Also, elevators can be dangerous. Decapitations can happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The absolutely wonderful GlynnisIsta8 made this:  
> http://shieldshockfanfic.tumblr.com/post/161060843274/shieldshock-image-set-from-shieldshockfanfic
> 
> It is literally the sweetest thing! Also, I have no idea if I'm doing this right. Luddite, thy name is Bish!
> 
> Ok, so I had this idea that Darcy would walk in on Thor and Jane doing the hibbity dibbity do and there was a whole paragraph formatted in my head about Thor's buttocks. Sadly, that did not happen.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy Possesive!Natasha instead. (She's totally confiscating all things Darcy)

 

Taco Tuesday was a hit, mostly. Thor invited Captain America. So instead of being the third wheel, Darcy was the fifth when a serious face Natasha showed up. Familiar territory. Natasha spent the majority of the night eye-balling Steve suspiciously and sneaking Darcy hits of volatile vodka from her flask. Well, technically it was Clint's. He had misplaced it over the weekend and Natasha was trying to see how long before he noticed. Natasha was Darcy's kind of people.

Two things made the night uncomfortable for Darcy. The first, Natasha cornering her in Jane's kitchen when Thor ran out of his supply of taco shells. He truly loved the way they crunched. Darcy didn't get it. She was a soft taco person and felt no shame. She was getting him more because Jane was blissed out, curled halfway onto his lap, also having had swigs from the pilfered flask. Jane was a light weight. Thor didn't seem to mind, he had her cuddled close while in deep discussion with the Captain.

"I know what your problem is," Darcy vowed to get Natasha one of those charm bracelets. The kind that gangled.

"Enlighten me shawty hawty." Darcy did not believe for one second that her new friend was as relaxed as she appeared.

"You think you are weak." Yup. A conversation she wanted to avoid. Natasha might be a spy but she was also an excellent tactician. She had the exit thoroughly blocked with her own cotten-blend clad curvaceous body. Darcy wished she could pull of that type off material paired with those leggings. It didn't cling to Natasha in any kind of unflattering way. On Darcy it would've made her look frumpy and lumpy. Sigh. Natasha was looking at her patiently like she knew exactly what Darcy was thinking.

"Oh! Dirty talk! I like it. Give me more!"

"You have no strength."

"Don't pull any punches do you?"

"No." She said simply. She looked considering for a moment. "But you are not weak."

"Ok. I don't know what you are getting at."

"You only think you are weak." A brief impression of bewilderment flashed across her normally poised face. Like she hadn't meant to say that. Or she didn't think she was getting her message across. Darcy was getting a little impatient, already uncomfortable.

"And you know all the things." A statement of disbelief.

"Yes." Natasha shrugged. "I can teach you strength. I can teach you how not to think weak.

"This sounds more painful than the entirety of last week." Darcy snarked.

"It will be." Natasha's Russian background was showing.

"Good to know." She wasn't sure what Natasha was planning. She was sure it was going to involve discomfort and maybe a side of humiliation. Darcy wasn't great with trust though. Darcy really, really hoped Natasha wasn't going to use this against her, whatever the hell "it" was.

The second weirdly uncomfortable thing was when Steve kept glancing at the door. Natasha would look when he would look, Darcy, the only one with her back to the entrance started mimicking them. She had to turn fully around to see the door. Jane asked her what was going on.

"No idea." She raise her hands in a questioning gesture. Darcy looked to Natasha. "Do you know?"

Red curls swung back and forth negatively.

"Are you expecting someone Steven?" Thor inquired, amused when Darcy exclaimed out loud and a smidgen drunkenly "Oh! That makes sense!"

Steve also shook his head then turned to Darcy with the full force of his patriotic blue gaze:

"Will Tony be joining us?"

Slightly flustered because the whole table now and their attention on Darcy, her mouth gaped in a surely unattractive way.

"I have no idea! Did anyone invite him?"

"Not I," claimed Thor

"Nope" Jane said with a giggle. She was distracted with making smacking noises against Thor's beard. Weird.

Natasha shook her head again.

Puzzled, Steve asked Darcy where Tony was and why he wasn't having dinner with them. He wasn't demanding or autocratic like she had feared he would've been after hearing Tony's stories about the man. He seemed genuinely concerned.

Darcy did not do genuine very well. She had issues ok!

"I'm not his keeper." She cried out in jest. Steve did not get the joke. There it was! The dreaded disappointed face! Darcy fought the urge to cringe. Damn, bitch face game strong!

Shortly after, Darcy escaped. She should've stayed to help with the cleanup. But she just couldn't, she couldn't take another second of the Captain's frown. It was worse than her Nana's, worse than any Sarah Mclachlan commercial. There was not enough alcohol in the world to deal.

********

Natasha left at the same time Steve did. He wasn't exactly sure why she had a knife to his throat the second the elevator doors closed them in.

"Uh. Nat. Is there a problem."

Short as she was, Nat had excellent reach. The knife was pressed against his jugular. It gleamed in the reflection of the elevator door. He had no doubt it was the sharpest knife in the building.

"You will keep your grubby paws off of Darcy. This is your only warning."

"I don't know what kind of man you think I am, I don't poach."

"That's right. You keep thinking that way. Darcy is mine. No touching!"

"Does Tony know how you feel about her?" Steve had heard about Tony's exploits. He wasn't sure what modern relationships involving three people entailed these days. Back in his day it was taboo and absolutely never acknowledged. There was also Clint to consider. He had thought Nat and Clint were together, after a fashion. Apparently, he was wrong.

"It's none of his business." Natasha muttered. Her green eyes were calmer now, no longer the blast of furious ice. She also withdrew her knife from his neck. He was smart enough to not move away from the elevator wall.

"You might want to make it his business. I'm not sure how he would feel about you poaching his girl." Even though she had just held a knife to his throat, he still wanted his teammate to be happy. Darcy and Nat had gotten on really well. Darcy got on really well with everyone.

"His girl." Nat snorted under her breath, amused. She was looking at the geometric patterned carpet. Then she lifted her head and with great delight exclaimed:

"You're an idiot."

Yeah, well, his friends were crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brought to you by gummy bears after the Monday-est Friday know to man!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A call to arms and bonding over 90's television.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Way sure there are loads of mistakes below. Slow build is coming to an end soon folks. Hopefully!

 

"Ray! look! Turtles!" Darcy, curled up between Nat and Jane, laughed uproariously for no apparent reason. Steve watched as they watched a Nature documentary.

"Who is Ray?" he heard Nat ask. Shamelessly eavesdropping, Steve subconsciously leaned closer. Darcy wasn't trying to be quiet, he just really wanted to hear what she would say.

She laughed again, this time to herself, "Benton Fraser's boyfriend."

Steve had no idea what that meant.

  
****

Training with Natasha was hard. Six a.m. Wake up calls were dumb. Treadmills were not made for clumsy people. Punching things was fun. The only upside to "training". Natasha wasn't trying to teach anything fancy, just a bit of self defense, and a shit ton of badassery.

"Your opponent will underestimate you. Surprise is your one true advantage. Have no mercy." Sage advise but extremely hard to implement, Darcy had never wanted to be a violent person even if she did have an unhealthy relationship with her tazor. Darcy's biggest obstacle, not wanting to hit Natasha in the face. No matter how hard she was pushed.

After their "training" read: torture,  
Darcy would head to Jane's lab.

Work was hard. Jane's chicken scratch was impossible. The ivory Tower PTB were breathing down Jane's neck about some article in some obscure magazine. It wasn't even available online. Who had hard copy magazines anymore? They called every damn day for over a week, demanding progress reports. Jane refused to talk to them. Darcy's imagination was on hiatus when 6 a.m wake up calls were a thing. She had resorted to leaving the phone in front of a speaker, the volume at 11, Betty White reading a bodice ripper.

When Jane realized, she gave the best high five.

By the time another Friday rolled around, Darcy was exhausted. She locked up the labs, relying on Jarvis's constant vigilance and Thor's manly vigor. She showered, half assed her way through a bowl of special k and finally, finally!, he crawled her way into the spiffy new mattress. One minute she was musing on how much she wanted to go out two weeks ago compared to how much that was not going to happen this week and then she was out.

*****

Benton Fraser was a character in a television show. There were actually two Rays. Steve wasn't sure which one was Benton Fraser's boyfriend. He was only three episodes into the first season when they got the call to suit up.

The roof was full up with the team and two brunettes when Steve joined them. Clint was already on the jet, uncharacteristically impatient, flipping switches. Thor was kissing Jane goodbye. Tony was on the phone with Bruce, the Scientist still holed up with Dr. Strange in London. A tired looking Darcy was in her pajamas with the Black Widow's arm across her hunched shoulders. Nat was whispering something furiously into her ear. Darcy was agreeing to whatever she said. Tony joined them and chucked the girl under the chin.

Utterly confused Steve turned away and boarded, joining Clint up front.

Clint smirked at him. "Just let me know when you're ready."

"They should all be in soon."

"Not what I meant, Cap."

*********

In upstate New York, three teenage witches, not wanting to do their chores, had created servants made from clay. Clint called them Golems, he'd seen one in the circus but never so large. There were three of them, big and slimy with mud. It was dirty work. It in the end no one was hurt and the kids learned their lesson. At least, Steve hoped. The team confiscated their tomes under much protest.

Irresponsible. And lazy. Some things never changed.

The whole thing took six hours.

"What the hell is Darcy still doing up?" Tony asked not really expecting an answer. They had debriefed with Fury on the plane via video. Steve appreciated the time save. His skin felt itchy with caked on dried clay. He wanted a shower and some carbs. He didn't care what order.

Natasha was cursing in Russian when she saw the video feeds. Thor looked troubled.

"Lady Darcy 'stress bakes'" Thor made the air quotations wrong.

"Dibs on the blueberry muffins."

"Tony..." Steve drawled.

"What? Everyone knows she bakes them for me."

*****

They were home. They were safe.

They were absolutely fucking filthy.

"No." She slapped Tony's dirty metal hand. "Go bathe you nasty man. No one touches anything until soap has been applied. There is plenty for everyone. Yes Tony, I will make sure no one eats the muffins." She surveyed the Avengers with squinty be-speckled eyes. "I don't know what you're still doing here. Water Plus Soap!" She yelled when they dashed off to do her biding.

They were home. They were safe.

Darcy didn't know why she felt so anxious as she rubbed her sternum. It felt tight. Her eyes, dry and tired, had refused to close after they had flown off to save the world, or, uh, suburbia, from some unknown monster. She had watched the news feed with Jane until the scientist had dropped off, exhausted. Darcy knew Jane cared. She also knew that Jane knew how to compartmentalize. Darcy envied her.

So Darcy did what she was best at.

When the shiny heroes returned, Darcy watched with glee as they tore into her baked goods. Thor picked up Jane, carrying her over one shoulder with a pan of lemon squares in his free hand. He quietly wished them sweet dreams, then as graceful as a god carrying a full grown woman and a pan of sweets could, swept out of the kitchen.

Clint, meanwhile, was all about the cheesecake brownies, eating them standing over the sink to catch the crumbs. Tony took his hoard of muffins to the penthouse. Natasha, unselfconsciously, stacked a plate of chocolate chip cookies, snagged the remaining fourth of the pan of cheesecake brownies and hooked a jug of milk on her finger, she kissed Darcy's cheek, then glared at Steve before dragging Clint off to his nest. He wiggled his eyebrows, lascivious all the way to the elevators.

"What the...?" Darcy mimicked Natasha's eyebrow move. Steve just shook his head at her and dug into the cherry cobbler. They sat at the kitchen table, the room only lit by the recess lighting above the stove, and the generous view of the city. Steve wasn't looking at her. He seemed lost in thought. That was ok. Darcy had no thoughts left. She enjoyed his quiet companionship.

"Good cobbler" Steve thanked her.

"Glad you liked it." She replied politely like her Nana had taught her.

"So which Ray is it?" He was looking at her like he was expecting her to trick him. Or lie to him. Darcy had no idea what he was talking about. She said as much.

"Benton Fraser's boyfriend. Tell me it's not Vecchio."

"You're kidding me! You're watching that?!"

He turned bright red, even his ears. Darcy hadn't realized how young he looked until right at that moment. They were practically the same age... kinda.

"It's a good show."

"How far are you?" She demanded, excited, because honestly, no one knew that show except some diehard fan fiction writers.

"Three episodes."

"Oh shit, you're watching the first half."

"Uh. Yeah?" What they didn't tell you in the History Books. Steve's eyes were not just blue. They were laser focus blue. And they were captivating even in the low lighting. She couldn't look away even though he looked adorably confused.

"There are two halves." She said, " they cancelled the show then brought it back with another Ray. Oh Mer Gerd! We have to watch that episode!"

She jumped up and grabbed his wrist. "Right now?" He was laughing at her.

"No time like the present, Rogers! Shake a leg!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Friday night! And the mood is right!!!!!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony drops a bomb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters in one day! I hope I didn't rush them. Also, ready for this slow burn to set fire!!!!!

 

That weird tightness in her chest was back. Darcy didn't know why and was not enjoying it one damn bit. Fall was in full swing. She had darted out of the Tower to shop for cheesy Halloween decorations. She wanted the place to explode with glittery grinning skulls and grotesque goblins. Just for funnsies.

Pickings were slim and it was getting dark. Her phone was dying, slowly yet surely, beeping at her in warning.

She was fine on the train. She was fine in the thrift shops, but out on the streets, some already dark with the way the sun was setting. Darcy tried to walk as fast as she could. She couldn't seem to walk fast enough until finally she was running. She lost track of where she was and had no idea where she was going. The Tower looked so close! But she knew it was miles away. She wanted to lose her lunch

It took one meaty fist grabbing her arm and swinging her around before the training (torture) Natasha had instilled in her, kicked in. Ok, so this was a bad idea, lesson learned. Also, punching someone in the nose was extremely painful.

"Goddammit Darcy!" Clint yelled at her, bowed over and clutching his face. She could see blood dripping between his fingers. For one bright and brief second she felt extreme pride! She had done it! She hadn't thought she would've been able to. And then:

"Oh shit! I'm sorry! Geezu! Is it broken!"

"Yessss," he hissed at her, then held his fist out for her to bump. Her knuckles were swollen but it was totally worth it.

"What are you doing out here?" She asked him looking around for his comrades. The great thing about New Yorkers, no one was paying attention to them.

"You went off grid. Nat's on a tear. What are you doing? Running? Someone chasing you?" He too looked around, she could see where he turned off the injured civilian and turned on his agent persona. She didn't like it.

"No." She blurted. "No! I just... I..."

He turned back to her with all his focus. "You panicked." He stated, not surprised. She sputtered for a moment, then agreed, wow, that pavement. Super dirty.

"Come on, kid." He threw an arm across her shoulder to lead her home. She appreciated the warmth of his torso and his gunpowdery smell.

*****

"Put this on." Natasha was not happy.

"Where did you find this? I thought I'd lost it!" It was her Nana's bracelet. It had an extra link on it now and the clasp was fixed.

"Don't take it off." Natasha stormed off. Well, stalked off. Ok, so her gait never actually changed but Darcy could tell she was pissed.

*****

Darcy was hiding out in Tony's lab. Thor had interrupted Jane for sexy times. In the lab. No amount of protests or logic about sanitary conditions could change his amorous intent. Which meant she was out! Nothing would get her back to the labs unless it came with a big ole bottle of Lysol.

Plus, Tony's lab couch may have smelled like motor oil but it was super comfy. The dichotomy of which kind of dirty she was comfortable with made her head woozy. Or maybe it was the fumes.

She was rudely awoken from her nap by an agitated billionaire. He threw a packet of papers in her general direction. "Sign this."

"What is it?" Darcy plucked at it like it was a clingy shirt.

Tony was Exasperated, to the point he was running his capable fingers through his dark hair, Darcy wondered what had his dander up. His mood was escalating quickly, she just didn't know the starting point. "Just sign it." He demanded and yeah, no, not ok.

About the time she sat up, Steve came in the lab looking for her.

"Uh... I can come back."

Tony was pacing back and forth. He glared at Steve. "Do that." Steve didn't leave. He leaned against the arm of the couch, arms and feet crossed. Darcy valiantly ignored the way his sweater pulled at the muscles in his arms.

"What the hell Tony? What's going on?" She stood up clutching the offending papers in her cold fingers. That ball of tightness was building again. "I'm not going to sign this until you tell me what it is."

"You know, you're as bad as me when it comes to trust." He stilled for a moment, turned toward her with a gleam in his eye. She had the strangest suspicion he was going to cry.

"Ok, fine," she said, changing tactics, "will I be giving up my first born."

"No." He grinned like he knew something she didn't. No surprise there. He knew many things she didn't.

"Are there financial implications?"

"Yes." He rolled his eyes.

"Are the financial implications resulting in a negative balance in my bank account?" A girl couldn't be too sure.

"Of course not!" He huffed. "Please just sign it." He said "it" as though the papers would turn to pumpkins.

"You want to give me money." She accused.

"Not the issue. Please sign it and trust that it's a good thing. Well, I think it's a good thing. Pepper doesn't agree."

That changed things. "Pepper has read this?"

He shrugged, actions more telling than he knew. "Pepper had it drafted."

"And she thinks I shouldn't sign it?" Darcy was flipping through the pages not reading any of them.

"Unequivocally, yes."

"Ok I'll sign. Give me a pen."

"Darcy..." Steve baritone broke the intense stare down from Tony. "Maybe you should find out what it is first?"

"Sound reasoning Steven," Tony said coldly. "They're adoption papers."

"Adoption?" Darcy whispered.

"You can't adopt your girlfriend, Tony!" Steve jumped up from his faux relaxed position. Why had Tony put an orange couch in the lab?

Wait. What?

"Girlfriend?!" Both Tony and Darcy cried out.

"Eewww." She made the blech face. "He's old enough to be my dad! And not in the sexy fun way!"

"You're dad! That's what I'm trying for here but you don't have to say it like that!"

"Don't look butt hurt Tony we both know this age gap has no bridge! And we have too many things in common for that too happen. The trust issues alone would wreck any romantic relationship. I think I've inherited your panic attacks! Then there's the sarcasm, the music, the hair. I could never date a man who had the same hair as I but looks better with it."

He preened for a moment the frowned at her. "Hey don't talk like that. You're beautiful."

It was her turn to roll her eyes at him. "Pen." She demanded, master of deflection. She was going to sign. There was no stopping this train now. The heartbroken angry teenager inside was jumping for joy. She's been too old to be adopted after her Nana died. Too old and too mouthy. Then she aged out of the system and resigned herself to never having a core family. She'd been too young to understand family of choice. Still, though, to have a legal family... it was something she hadn't known she needed until just that moment. She grinned at him.

He smiled at her, a real smile, not the fake toothy one he gave the press.

"I'm keeping this pen." She told him. "And I get to call you Daddy Warbucks."

"Only if I get to call you Princess." He retorted.

"If you can say it unironically, I will allow it." She was pretty sure she was rushing into this. But that didn't stop her from knowing this was something she wanted. It didn't make sense, it was bound to cause some fights and tensions. Pepper  
was against it and everybody knew Pepper had good judgement. Even if she did make bad choices. Ok, those statements conflicted. It went like this: any fool could see Tony was hard to be in a relationship with, but only a fool would leave Tony when he loved them. Darcy didn't want to be a fool and adoption papers, grand dramatic gesture that they were, definitely a declaration of love.

She hugged him even when he made moves to evade. She didn't care. He made her happy.

Neither one of them noticed Steve slip away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you're trying to write and your friend is all like "my girlfriend is a bitch" and you've told them a million times to drop them like a hot potato but they want to "talk" about it so you wait and you wait and you wait and you have to turn off the air conditioner because it's too loud to hear if they call and two hours later your playing 10x10 and they text saying they meant to call but they accidentally called their girlfriend and they've hashed it out and everything is better. 
> 
> Fine. Whatever. I'm glad I'm single.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy gets Kidnapped?!?!? Plus there's kissing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a long one folks. Bring snacks.

So truth serum was a real live thing. Who knew? Apparently these assholes knew and fuck if she wasn't ready to have their dicks fed to them like a goddamn succulent dish, Jesus fuck did she sound like Hannibal. Christ she need to get out of here. Darcy struggled against her bindings. Were they using zip ties? Harsh. Mother fucker!

The room itself wasn't inspiring to vetting her release. Dingy gray walls made of those high school/prison brick. It didn't matter how many coats of yellow the school board thought would stimulate young minds it was still depressing as fuck. Like a prison.

Fuck! Was she in an actual prison?!? That made total perfect sense. Except for the reason as to -why- she was here. She didn't know anything. She was just the intern. Ok so she was more than that or whatever but Jane's work was hard and she barely understood long division much less complex algorithms. She literally knew nothing except, like, the filing system and the delicate nature of the machines... oh... and how to reinforce them with duct tape. She was the duct tape whisperer. These goons were dum dums. They took the wrong chick!

"Woman! Cess your prattling! We know who you are!"

"Then you know I cannot help you!"

She tried to raise her hands in exasperation which she failed to do. Because they were behind her back. Stupid tiny ass piece of plastic limiting her mobility. She really wanted to get out of here. It was dark and cold. Plus it smelled weird. The floor was gross and wet. She didn't want to know what exactly was soaking her bottom, but she was going to burn this skirt when she got the fuck out of here.

"Have you ever heard such a mouth on a woman? Foul."

"You're the one who gave me truth serum! What did you expect?!?"

"For the last time there is no such thing as truth serum! It is sodium Pentothal! To lower your inhibitions. So when I ask you questions it makes you -want- to tell the truth"

"Semantics dude. What do you want anyway."

"From you? Nothing. You are just bait." His black eyes practically leered at her "also it is fun."

"Fun. Fun? Gross." She couldn't help the shudder that ran through her body. She hadn't felt afraid before, not like the way she felt outside on the street. She was suddenly very conscious of her body in a way that had nothing to do with inhibitions and everything to do with trying to hide her... assets. An endeavor she had been failing at since Jr. High.

Stupid boobs.

She ignored her captors laughter and concentrated on something else, anything else. She didn't understand why she was bait. Surely no had noticed her missing. The Avengers might be her friends and kinda house mates but they led very busy lives.

Ok. So Tony might notice. And Thor. And, well, Natasha seemed like she cared. And Clint. He hadn't been mad when she broke his nose at least. Jane was in the middle of a breakthrough which was why Darcy was out of the Tower anyway. For the fresh air. For the sunlight.

She tried to determine how long she'd been gone but the window less room and the drugs were wrecking havoc with her sense of time. Besides, time was an illusion.

Damn she was hungry. Chinese. Nom. She could tear up and egg roll or ten.

"All those egg rolls got you that tummy." One of the men sneered at her which, admittedly, more welcome than leering and nothing she hadn't heard before from her exes. There was that one memorable Valentine's Day.

"Pathetic," the main goon sneered.

Darcy wished she would stop blurting out her every thought. The drug made it physically painful to not speak. She was a ranter by nature, she liked to vent. To a people-less room, to let off steam. Ideally. A line of sweat broke out on her upper lip trying to keep her thoughts in.

This was useless. What the hell did they think was going to happen, keeping her here?

"A very interesting thing. A very interesting thing indeed."

"That's dumb and vague. What could be so interesting?"

A loud obnoxious alarm began blaring. The power went out and red emergency lights illuminated the dreary room. Jesus her heart was pounding. The main guy. The one at the head of her shit list was smiling manically at her.

"That is very interesting indeed."

"Villain!" she accused.

"Hahahaha you my lovely, are most amusing! I hope we shall meet again!"

He and the other two men left through a door disguised as the wall. It slammed shut behind her and she prayed she could remember where the opening was. Hopefully help was on the way and she wanted to direct them in the right direction to get those assholes. The klaxons continued to blare for long tense moments. She began to fear they wouldn't find her and she would be left there to die. She screamed as loud as she could. She struggle and fought to stand up but couldn't get her balance. She stomped the floor but found she had no leverage.

What felt like hours later the door to her prison opened with a bang.

"Wow! Heroic and pretty." She stated and then passed out from exhaustion. As was her right.

*******

Dreams were weird.

Darcy knew it was a dream because she couldn't read anything. The newspaper was all backwards numbers and nonsense. And she was pregnant.

A person had to be having sex to be preggers and she was pretty sure she would've remember.

"A bun in the oven" Jane was saying to her, in a brightly lit country kitchen. Everything smelled like cinnamon and something else. Thor was patting her belly and congratulating Steve. "A little apple fritter" Jane had a tear in her eye.

Dreams were fucking weird.

Waking up was painful. But not the worse thing she ever felt so... yay pain tolerance? She blinked her eyes open to a hospital-esqe room. Everything was white, there was some kind of beeping machine and a tube coming out of her arm.

She was alone but she could hear someone talking.

"Oh good, you're awake." He had fluffy hair and tired eyes.

"What happened."

"Don't you remember." He cocked his head to the side and smiled at her, friendly but wary. He flashed a light in her eyes.

"Up until when Steve came through the door. Why am I hooked up?" She lifted her arm not looking because she might freak out if she thought about it too hard. Then she thanked him for handing over her glasses. Someone had cleaned the lenses.

"You had an allergic reaction to whatever they gave you. Plus you were severely dehydrated. We had to flush your system. Do you know what they gave you?" He was fiddling with something next to her head. He smelled like curry.

"Sodium Pentothal," she said, distracted. She kind of felt floaty.

"Truth serum? Why would they give you truth serum."

"That's what I said" she exclaimed suddenly very much aware of her surroundings. "But he was all like 'there's no such thing' and I was like 'pishtosh, you're a villain of course there is' and then he laughed at me."

The Doc laughed at her too and she pouted at him.

"Where am I?" Where was Jane, or Tony, or Natasha?

"You're at the Tower." He looked at her curiously.

"Oh."

"I had to kick everybody out." He said simply. "They were making me angry."

"Ok." She said. Then realized exactly who he was.

"Do you want me to leave." He said in reference to her widened eyeballs.

"What, no, I want you to tell me what it felt like to punch Thor! I tased him once. It was awesome."

  
*****

Come to find out, the majority of her friends had spent the last several hours trying to track down leads. They didn't have much luck. After they got back, Tony came to her with Natasha in tow. When Darcy saw what the woman had in her hands she burst into speech.

"I didn't take it off! I swear! I don't know what happened! I was just sitting there in the park and then the next thing I know there was a bag over my head! And then someone stabbed me with something and I woke up in a jail cell!!!!!"

"I'm not mad little one. I thought you'd like it back."

"I would." Natasha slipped it on her bandaged wrist.

"I don't know why I didn't do this before. Hold out your arm." Tony was ordering her. He seemed distracted and wouldn't look her in the face. She obeyed him only because he looked sick and stressed.

"Ow!" She cried out. "What the hell Warbucks?"

"Tracking chip, Princess." He muttered then stalked off.

"He was very worried." Natasha sounded very serious. It didn't take much to read she had also been worried. Darcy hugged her enthusiastically.

It wasn't until much later after kicking out a fussing Jane and a solemn Thor, when she was settled onto the couch in her living room, alone, debating watching Due South without Steve, whom had been acting hella strange lately, when the man himself came into her abode.

He was in sweats and one of those ridiculous Under Armour shirts. His hair was wet, fresh from the shower.

"Hiya, hero." She taunted.

"Don't. Just... don't." He looked mad. "Come here."

"I'm comfy Steven. It's been a long day." But she got up anyway. She went to him hesitantly, not knowing what he wanted.

"I'm no good at this," he said before pulling her forward by her forearm, careful not to touch her injured wrist. Then his mouth was on hers.

It was hot, like physically, hot. He was bent forward and taking command of her lips like he was on a mission. She made a motion to pull back after recovering from shock but his hand moved up to cup her cheek and hold her in place.

As kisses went, it wasn't half bad, if a little wet. She kissed him back. All those little butterflies she thought were myths sprung to life in her belly when he groaned and used his free hand to trail down her back to her bottom. He cupped her there too and pulled her closer.

He bit at her lips and rubbed his scruff on her chin. Then kissed her again until she was breathless with it and squirming in his hold. He let her pull back reluctantly.

"Hidden depths, Stevo." She quipped at him. He made a noise she could only describe as a growl and if she hadn't felt like utter shit at the moment she would've pushed him to the floor to thoroughly ravage a National Icon. She told him as much. If asked, she was blaming it on after effects of the truth serum.

"Fuck. Darcy. I'm sorry! I just... you were gone and I promised myself..."

"It's ok. I get it. You like me. I'm awesome. Plus the adrenaline." He was still holding her. His body was like granite. And hot, still in the physical sense. But also in the sexy way.

"I thought you were with Tony." He blurted out. "And Nat. And maybe Clint? I was confused. It was very confusing."

"Oh wow! Ok." She leaned back to get a good look at his face. His lips were red and pouty and his skin was paler than she'd ever seen it. His eyes were the fire of the lighter flame. The butane kind.

"I do like you. And have. For a while now." He was earnest. "I don't want to poach. And then after the whole adoption thing... I didn't know how to tell you. Plus Nat was pretty clear she wants me to stay away from you." He shook his head and then sort of picked her up like she weighed nothing despite her protesting squeak. He sat on the couch with her in his lap. Hmm. Warm.

"Natasha doesn't know how to share." Darcy agreed laying her head on one surprisingly comfy pec.

"She really doesn't." Steve said then started up the cue for their show. "You look like you're about to pass out. I'll put you to bed after but will you let me stay here and cuddle you for a bit?"

Darcy wasn't sure exactly what to do with Steve's declaration. They should talk. She should kick him out and think. But her brain just... couldn't at the moment and who could refuse that face?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spent too much time watching Chris Evans kissing on YouTube. He's got some pretty consistent moves. What else was I suppose to do with this knowledge?
> 
> [to watch go](https://youtu.be/JeTpcGU21cw)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning... there be smut below and it kinda sneaks up on ya. You've been warned. 
> 
> Also I should've spent a little  
> More time proof reading but I've got to get up up super early for this catering order and have run out of the time I allowed for this (two hours ago).
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Things weren't perfect. But, in Darcy's estimation, they were pretty damn close.

"Tony is Vecchio." Steve said. "Loud and full of complaints. Plus he always thinks he knows what's best for everyone and is mostly wrong."

"No, Tony is Kowalski." She denied.

"Because of Pepper/Stella?"

"Mostly. Except he doesn't stalk her. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't want her back. Not now. Also, he's a people pleaser and he's underestimated constantly."

"So who is Frazer?" He asked.

"Natasha." She said, "what's with that face?"

"I thought you were gonna say me."

"That's just how the public views you. You're Dief."

"I'm the dog?"

"Wolf." She corrected. "You're the troll!" She threw peanut m&ms at his head.

He laughed at her not denying it.

"Why is Nat Frazier?"

"She tries to play by the rules, mostly they fail her but she survives. No one truly understands her or likes her because she won't let them know her. She grew up in a wild and untamed land by strict and outdated regime."

"Are you saying the RCMP is out dated?"

"By the shows standards, yes, but I was referring to his grandparents and on occasion, his father."

"I can see you've put a lot of thought into this."

"What's a girl to do when her boyfriend has an obsession?" She shrugged then cackled when he lunged at her on the sofa. She wasn't sure how much longer the old thing would hold up under their combined weight and wrestling. She didn't care. His scruffy kisses were totally worth it, even if his nose did dig into her cheekbone. That man had a schnoz on him. She got a little giddy anytime he rubbed it against her. His mouth inevitably followed. As great as he was at making speeches and rallying the troops, she thought he was much better suited for nibbling at her neck or whispering the most outrageously dirty suggestions in her ear.

And he liked to do it in public.

Well, as public as the communal living room and kitchen were. She wasn't entirely sure but she suspected he liked to wait until Natasha was in the room. He was still upset about the knife thing. Darcy had asked Natasha to apologize when she had found out. Darcy wasn't sure what had been said, but Steve had shown up with a rapidly healing black eye and a dopey expression on his face.

Clint had steered Darcy clear of both of them for the rest of the day, explaining, "custody battles are tough."

"I am not a child!"

"True." He shrugged handing her a piece of pizza from the vendor.

"Nor am I a piece of property!"

"Agreed. But Darce, you're a hot commodity."

"Implying property Clinton." She pouted.

"Look, kid, Tony gets to claim you as family. Legally. Jane is you're platonic life mate. Thor is your shield brother and Cap is your boyfriend. Nat's just trying to stake her claim. She wants to be a part of your life." He looked like he wasn't paying attention to her, elbow deep in hot steamy pizza.

"She is a part of my life." Darcy said quietly. "She's like my sister."

He turned his full attention to her, blue eyes gleaming with delight. "Please tell me you'll tell her that in front of Stark."

"Pass." She snorted. "So what are you?"

"Beg your pardon?" He cocked his head like he couldn't hear her even though he could read her lips perfectly fine.

"You're roll. In my life."

"Kid, I'm the mentor."

"You're Frazier Sr. in the closet! I can't wait to tell Steve!"

"I don't know what that means."

"Yeah. That's probably best."

After that day, Taco Tuesdays moved out of Jane's apartment. They had it in the main dining area, but mostly they migrated to the couches for video games and name calling. Clint doing most of the latter.

Taco Tuesdays eventually turned into Wasabi Wednesday, where they tried different sushi each week and held competitions regarding hot garnishes and saki.

Thor liked to have a feast on Thorsday, he thought their family dinners were like the ones he had at home and would urge everyone to participate. It became a kind of pot luck thing.

Friday, Tony would claim her, usually having some public function to go to. Her so-called coming out party had been a nightmare. She had been dressed in a red vintage style evening gown, his date. The press had gone wild with speculation. Then that evil fuck who had Kidnapped her had shown up, shooting wildly into the crowd. Then had called her a whore for choosing Ironman over Captain America.

Tony had not taken it well.

"Nobody talks about my daughter that way." He activated his wristbands. Several million dollars in damages and an equally hefty donation by Stark industries later, Steve had found them behind the destroyed bar, covered in glass and singing pirate songs. The coverage leaked to TMZ shortly after.

Take that Becky, Darcy had told her, she'd be famous one day.

Jane's paper had garnered a bunch of old guy interest and she went on a six month tour of interviews and speeches. Darcy chose not to go. She would stay and collect data from the labs, to forward to Jane. This gave Darcy lots and lots of free time which she spent with Steve, usually naked, which she was at the moment.

Face first into a pillow to muffle her moans, he was heavy atop her, hand shoved between her thighs while he mercilessly worked her clit. He had his other hand on her breast, using his weight and the mattress to torture her nipple. She couldn't keep her hips from rocking as he manipulated her this way. She fought her orgasm, not because she didn't want to, mostly because he had bet her he could get her off in under two minutes.

He was winning, cheating with the downright depraved things he was whispering. She broke when he licked the sensitive shell of her ear, whole body spasming. He chuckled at her, then wasted no time lifting her hips and positioning her knees, then he dove into her lady bits, mouth first.

She screamed his name. Delirious with pleasure.

Yeah, things weren't perfect, she thought later when he was blissed out and snoring, with one hand on her ass. She couldn't move and didn't want to. But her brain wouldn't shut off. She still had issues, still couldn't go out at night by herself. But now she didn't have too. Now she had a family. And that she counted as a win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The couch I'm thinking of is the couch in "what's your number?"
> 
> It's baby shit gold, old and looks super comfy.


End file.
